On Parenthood
In the book and film “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory”, Mr. Wonka chose a boy named Charlie to be his successor who would one day inherit his factory, knowing he would eventually grow too old to run it himself. Mufasa once told his son Simba in “The Lion King”, “A king’s time as ruler rises and falls like the sun. One day, the sun will set on my time here, and will rise with you as the new king.”
I bring these up to talk about something I may normally not like thinking about, but eventually will be important: I know I will not live forever. Someday, I know that I will die, one way or another. So I think it’s important for that time to consider critically who would be most fit to preserve what I will have built – my artwork, assets, and other parts of what my legacy will include. In my view, this should not be left up to my parents or to anyone older than me; they would only do everything their own way, not mine. Instead, it only makes the most sense if I raised my own children to be my potential heirs: they would be the people of a future generation to inherit the most from myself: my DNA, my heritage, my values, and possible my creative talents.
One big mistake I’ve seen some parents make is that they believe all they have to do to raise their kids is less than what their kids actually need: they work at their jobs, get the money to pay for the house, the bills, the groceries, and other material provisions, and they may think that’s all their children need from them. From personal experience, here’s what I know is the truth: material provision is only half of what kids need from their parents. The other half would be things that can’t be bought or sold – these things come only from a positive relationship between parents and their children – emotional support, guidance, wisdom, love, and generosity, to gain mutual trust, respect, and cooperation in how they communicate.
I haven’t had any kids so far, but I think I already know how I’d want to raise them, and about how I wouldn’t; I decided many years ago that I would never want my kids to be physically harmed for the sake of discipline, especially now that years of research have shown that spanking children is ineffective and potentially harmful; as adults, they may ever repeat these violent behaviors in even their own future romantic relationships.
Instead, I would always want them to know and feel that I can and will help or support them in anything they may need . Also, I’d like to train them to be talented artists, like me; I imagine it’s very likely they would take after me once they see me drawing ✍🏽 in front of them 😎 Of course, they always can and should have their own interests, and the dreams/talents they pursue will ultimately be their own choices. I’d gladly have a focus on whatever calling God would have for them; if I’m lucky enough, they may even follow in my artistic 🎨 footsteps.
So I may be open to change to this new lifestyle at some point, but I firmly believe having an economic base of a certain strength first is critical for anyone raising a family to provide for them. That’s especially true for many middle-class families nowadays, and it looks like for the next 10 years, as well. A lot of consistent income is needed to put a roof over a family’s heads, to put food on the table, to put clothes on their backs, and for other necessities, luxuries, etc.
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